Twitter

I did it....Tallouza is now on Twitter. Twittering is fun, but it does not seem to have picked up much as far as Jordanians are concerned. It is a pity because I am finding it an excellent, quick and easy way to share thoughts and news with fellow twitterers....If you are on Twitter, please let me know so that I can follow....Happy Twittering!

P.S. The photo is my chosen look on Twitter:-)

Rum Music and Tareq Alnasser

Tareq Alnasser and Rum Music are the joy and pride of Jordan.
I just came back from their concert and they were AWESOME!

As I was watching them, I thought to myself what they are doing is not easy....they must have had a lot of difficulties that could have made them give up before they even started. What I saw this evening was obviously a beautiful result of how great persistence and resilience can be.

I am so proud that we can boast such an impressive, fun, and extremely talented musical group.
This group really reflect the great country that Jordan is.

I've learned...

Today I received a very sweet e-mail from my uncle. He is someone I adore and look up to in more ways than one. What he sent me is a mass e-mail. However, its impact on me was so refreshing especially that it came from someone who believes in and acts like everything said in it. It is so nice to have family that you love and feel proud of.

I remember being once in a pharmacy in Amman late at night. I needed to buy medicine and I had no money on me. The pharmacist politely apologized since the pharmacy's policy is not to accept checks. I suggested leaving my ID card with him along with the check and to send him the money the following morning (I had forgotten my ATM pin number). The pharmacist held my ID, and when he saw my name he asked "how are you related to this man?". I said "he is my uncle". The very uncle who sent me this e-mail. He then said "your uncle is probably one of the very few honorable men left around". He went on to say "please take whatever you want and you can pay me later". He refused to take the check and he refused my pleas to leave any form of proof behind. That to me is worth all the money in the world. So from this incident I’ve learned that maintaining one’s family’s good name and reputation is for sure very hard work, but one that only gets more rewarding and enjoyable with time.

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned...... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way..

I've learned...... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class..

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned..... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I 've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds..

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost, someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned ..... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom and Dad that I loved them one more time before they passed away.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned...... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Yazan...I am really sorry

The crime I am about to write about is also one I am guilty of.

The crime I want to write about is not the brutal killing of the little boy named Yazan. The more shocking crime is the lack of public outrage concerning Yazan’s story. It is the complacency towards a suffering that many of us could have turned into a lesson of compassion and empathy.

Yazan is a Jordanian 5-year-old child whose mother and father were imprisoned at the same time. This left Yazan in the custody of his aunt, whose husband abused, tortured and viciously inflicted pain on this little child’s body. Yazan gave up at the end and fell into a coma. He died few weeks ago.

Yazan was laid to rest today.

For days I read about Yazan’s dead body laying at the hospital waiting for someone to claim this innocent angel. As if the lack of justice in his life was a foreshadowing of the misery he would endure in his death. The thought did cross my mind of claiming him and preparing a funeral for him. Every time I thought of doing something, I was worried of being judged as pretentious and butting into business that is not mine.

As I read news of Yazan, I had a strange feeling of detached sympathy. I somehow believed that my reaction and contribution wouldn’t count. There will be others who will take up the cause of Yazan and deliver justice to this little boy. The faith I did not have in myself was sadly misplaced in others.

As I learnt that Yazan’s misery is finally put to rest, I also saw images of his funeral. A funeral I thought would be a crowded show of love and apology to this child who fell victim to a system that failed to detect his suffering. A funeral that turned out to be a gathering of no more than few kids who were pictured seated in front of lecterns on the ground of a mosque reading Koran while this little boy’s body laid wrapped in white cloth waiting and desperately “wanting” to be interred.

The gist of what I am writing is that whenever one detects injustice, and whenever one is blessed enough to do something about it, one should rush to do it. I hope I won’t be faced with a similar choice again. But if I do, I will go by what my gut feeling tells me to do and I really won’t care what cynics might make out of it.

Gross National Happiness and Jordan

In 2001 I moved back to Amman after having lived for over 15 years overseas. My move came with the absolute conviction that I was doing the right thing. I never regretted my decision. In fact I always felt fortunate for having the choice to do so.

Coming back with me home was a feeling of romanticism of how things are done here in Jordan. What many perceived as retarded customs or invasive traditions, I was so willing to consider as simply part of the culture. I guess this was due to the fact that I had lived in many different so called developed societies that were far from being perfect or developed in the human sense. My attitude when I moved back was one of empathy and an unconditional acceptance of the way our society is run.

It is only lately that I am starting to feel suffocated by the pathetic state I find our society in. I suddenly realize that in our quest for development we have lost sight of what really matters while consistently failing to preserve anything of meaning. Instead, we have opted to hold on to false claims of entitlement only to legitimize a debilitating general state of laziness and demoralization that the majority seems to be suffering from. It has been extremely hard for me to come face to face with the ugly truth that our situation today is at best pathetic and at worst mediocre.

The disconnect that I am seeing among the various strata of our society is a further evidence of how a whole nation can live in denial and turn a blind eye waiting for some magic wand to come and do the job for it. In general, I feel that the majority of people are unhappy and feel alienated for many reasons. The end result is that we happen to be a bunch of disconnected class groups who have nothing in common except for one thing: We all seem miserable and unhappy.

What is behind this unhappiness? I am no expert on this. However, I recently learnt about a measure that was started in Bhutan and that has gained some merit lately: Gross National Happiness (GNH). GNH is an attempt to define quality of life in more holistic and psychological terms than Gross National Product. “While conventional development models stress economic growth as the ultimate objective, the concept of GNH claims to be based on the premise that true development of human society takes place when material and spiritual development occur side by side to complement and reinforce each other. The four pillars of GNH are:

1. The promotion of equitable and sustainable socio-economic development
2. Preservation and promotion of cultural values
3. Conservation of the natural environment
4. Establishment of good governance”

One question I will leave you with: How does Jordan score on the above four pillars?

On that note, I rest my case.

What is a "manly" man?

During a conversation with a friend today, he made a disparaging remark about a mutual acquaintance claiming that he is not a “man”. I happen to like this "man”. So my immediate response was "well, what is your definition of a “man”?" Are you talking of a manly "man"? As I was asking these questions I realized that if I were to answer them, I would not have an immediate answer.

What is a man (as opposed to a weasel, a "girly" man, a "I don't know what" man)?

Living in a society where values are so relative, I have gotten so mixed up to the extent that I no longer know what answer I could propose for such a question without sounding naive, unrealistic, too demanding, or maybe coming from la la land.

In a culture where lying is OK as long as you are not caught; deception is fine as long as you get what you want at the end; cheating is excusable as long as it makes you pass an exam; hypocrisy is expected even if your nose becomes the very definition of brown; I no longer know where to draw the line.

I guess the more I think about this, the more I realize that the question is really what is a good hu”man”? Be it a manly "man" or a girly "girl". Equality is not relative and what is good for the goose is good for the gander. While pacing through my thoughts, I suddenly realized that the whole imbalance and "schizophrenic" state of bliss we find ourselves in today is the very fact that we have accepted segregation in principle and we have freely extended it to sets of absolute values that should not be subject to anything except the truth.

The answer I would propose is that a good hu-wo-man is someone who is empathetic, honest, courageous, modest, generous, merciful, grounded, and most important of all just.

Any suggestions?