You May Call Me V

"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

Movie scene from "V for Vendetta"

Hint: Try reading it out loud

Bhibbak ya Lebnan!

I just read this article in The New York Times. It made me soooooo happy to see that Beirut is finally getting a break, even if it is for a very short and limited time. I love Lebanon and I pray that the people of this beautiful country as well as all the people of this great region, Palestinians, Iraqis, Jordanians, Egyptians, Yemenis, everybody find peace and happiness.

We all want a place to call home. And we all want this place to be home.

The Arab divide started with the Palestinian Diaspora and today we have a plethora of diasporas....wal habbel 3al jarrar. Funny how the brain drain is accelerating in the Arab world, while in Israel they are working on incentives for brain gain.

One's drain is another's gain!

Home on Holiday, the Lebanese Say, What Turmoil?

BEIRUT, Lebanon — Lebanon may seem an unlikely holiday spot: the government has collapsed, car bombs go off periodically and foreign envoys warn of an impending civil war.
And yet, so many people have been streaming into this tiny, embattled country in recent days that the flights are all overbooked, and some well-heeled travelers are driving 18 hours from the Persian Gulf. Beirut’s restaurants, bars and malls are all packed with revelers.

Why? The answer is that the Lebanese diaspora reverses itself on holidays, as the migrants who sustain the war-shattered Lebanese economy all year return from jobs across the globe to spend time with their families. Nothing will deter them — not bad weather, not interminable flights and certainly not the Grinch-like mood of Lebanon’s endlessly feuding politicians.
“My plane was full of Lebanese flying home, and when it landed we all shouted ‘Beirut’ and clapped,” said George Elias, 23, who works for an investment firm in Japan.
He and a dozen friends — mostly Lebanese who work abroad — were in the midst of a pub crawl in Gemayze, a fashionably bohemian district. All of them wore identical white T-shirts with “Free Hug” printed across the front, and they were hugging everyone they saw, in a puckish campaign of mass affection.

“Politics is causing problems in Lebanon, so we want people to think about something else,” Mr. Elias said.

When a Lebanese Army soldier appeared on the street, the group besieged him with free hugs. He obliged with a smile, his machine gun jostling at his waist with each hug.

Across town in western Beirut, the malls were packed with glamorously dressed shoppers, and even outdoor cafes were full, despite the 50-degree chill.

“Look at all these people — there’s a political crisis, but do they care?” said Ali Hasbini, a burly 30-year-old sitting at a cafe table with three other young Lebanese overseas workers in the Verdun district. “Of course not.”

More

Recommneded Light Reading by: Rooney, Dowd, Rand, Jobs, Plato, and Voltaire

The recent holiday break allowed me to get lots of rest and to do some end of year winter cleaning, especially of all the papers lying around.

As I was doing the usual toss in the garbage routine, I noticed that some articles never ever make it to the bin. I also noticed that these were articles that I always like to read whenever I bump into them. I am sure that there are other articles lying around, but these are the ones that I happened to find this time. These articles can be classified into various compartments:

Compartment 1: Denial -- Older is sexier…and I have Andy Rooney to prove it
Compartment 2: Beauty -- Feminism is at the root of all evil.
Compartment 3: Love -- You’ve been dumped after one season and for no reason and you’ll be scarred for a lifetime
Compartment 4: Big Talk -- How to impress an architect even if you know nothing about architecture. (You could try this with non-architects – at your own risk).
Compartment 5: Ambition – odds versus luck

My favorites are:

Plato's "Allegory of the Cave" - I am told that this is where the term "thinking outside of the box" originated from.

And

Voltaire's "Histoire d'un bon Bramin" (In French) - Voltaire's attempt to resolve the debate on what is better being knowledgeable and unhappy or being ignorant and happy. 

Goodnight for now from me and Fulla.

Aliyah and the Brain Gain in Israel

The appointment of Stanley Fischer in 2005 as Governor of the Bank of Israel (Israel’s Central Bank) was both mind boggling and fascinating at the same time.

Who is Stanley Fischer? He is an economist who prior to holding the Governor post was the Vice Chairman of Citigroup and prior to that he was the First Deputy Managing Director of the International Monetary Fund, and prior to that he was the Head of the Department of Economics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), and prior to that he was the Chief Economist at the World Bank, and the list goes on. Mr. Fischer is also a Zionist. His appointment as governor was a last minute deal between two of Israel’s staunchest Zionists Benjamin Netanyahu and Ariel Sharon.

Fischer’s immigration to Israel should not be taken lightly. There are questions to be asked and lessons to be learnt from someone we might feel apprehensive about but still find impressive.

Fischer is an Oleh (Hebrew for immigrant) making the Aliyah (Hebrew for ascent - Jewish Immigration to the Land of Israel). His move to Israel cannot be seen in any other light except ideological. Why would such an accomplished economist take such a demotion and accept this position after having made it big in all the major leagues (academic, multilateral/public, private)? His resume speaks volumes; I actually had difficulty keeping track of his record.

What sort of culture breeds the Stanley Fischers of the world? More important, what sort of ideology and beliefs pull the Fischers of the world from the circles of the rich and powerful into the smalltimeville of the Bank of Israel? How could someone so accomplished like Fischer be a Zionist? Fischer’s work is all based on inquiry and deduction, how did he fail to deduce the injustice based on which his Zionist belief is built? I know I sound naïve; I sometimes have a tendency to simplify matters that are supposed to be “complex”. I would love to know what is so complex about understanding the Zionist movement that had no place in particular to settle the Jews in: it started with Argentina, then Uganda (offered by the British and accepted by Herzl and then later rejected by the World Zionist Organization Congress), then Cyprus, then Mozambique, then Congo, then Egyptian Al-Arish, until it landed in Palestine (Thanks to a fortunate coincidence of interest with the British who colonized Palestine starting in 1917 following the secret Sykes-Picot agreement of 1916) . Therefore, the mumbo jumbo that we hear about the religious and historical claims are nothing but justifications for an illegal and inhumane usurpation of Palestinian land and uprooting of innocent Palestinian civilians.

My question remains, how does all of this go passed someone like Fischer? In this regard, he is truly a paradox. On the one hand one cannot but have the utmost respect for him and and for what he has accomplished. On the other hand, a discerning observer can’t but question the intellectual integrity of any follower of a dogmatic and belligerent movement such as Zionism. This is especially true given the impact that Zionism has had on the life of Fischer.

3eedo ya 3eed!

There is something unusual about this eid. Amman seems awfully quiet. I was driving down to the Jordan valley this evening. I was rushing like mad thinking that I am going to be stuck in traffic. The roads were extremely quiet. There was little traffic on the road, and there was somehow a hint of sadness. I thought I would be glad to be cruising through the roads without the hassle of getting stuck in what is becoming Amman's usual suffocating jams. Funnily I found myself disappointed that this eid was nowhere to be found on the streets.

Why this calm? Is it my imagination? Has eid become the latest casualty (Dahiyyeh) of a life where there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel? Have the the skyrocketing costs of living in Jordan claimed the joy that comes with festive occasions? Have the people become the very sacrificial lambs of this eid?

Whatever the mood is out there....and for whatever it is worth...Happy Eid Al-Adha everybody!

Wiser and Bolder

What is wisdom? What makes us wise? Is it age? Is it experience? Or is it both? Or is it none of the above?

I recently read in an article that certain qualities associated with wisdom that recur in academic literature are:

1. Clear-eyed view of human nature and the human predicament.
2. Emotional resiliency and the ability to cope in the face of adversity.
3. Openness to other possibilities.
4. Forgiveness.
5. Humility.
6. Knack for learning from lifetime experiences.

The article also mentions that for the wise action is important, and so is judicious inaction. Emotion is central to wisdom, yet detachment is essential

This got me thinking about our culture and the distorted notions of dignity, honor, respect, etc. Are these stifling artificial blocks that we have imposed on ourselves that are keeping us miles away from even getting close to becoming wise?

Simon Clayton, a researcher on wisdom identified in her dissertation three general aspects of human activity that were central to wisdom:

1. Cognitive: The acquisition of knowledge.
2. Reflective: The analysis of that knowledge (information).
3. Affective: The filtering of information through emotions.

I find this a powerful insight in my attempt to understand beliefs and practices that I might find dysfunctional, counterproductive, and even uncivilized. A brief application of the above three aspects of wisdom into our current state of affairs and we soon find that we are far far away from being wise. The sad news is that it seems we have even missed the first stop, which happens to be the very acquisition of knowledge and the very caliber of the knowledge we are busy acquiring.

The more I think of wisdom, the more I am convinced that it is closely related to civility. It is what brings us closer to our humanity. It is what gives us the balance and the compassion to really start making a meaningful difference in life.

As long as we cling to centuries old notions of false values that we all know are intended to protect an outdated status quo for fear of change, I am afraid we will only be harboring a culture that nurtures spineless cowards whose souls are outdated and outmaneuvered.

Fulla Girl in a Mulla World!

Until yesterday afternoon Fulla was a fluffy beautiful white cat that I get to host every time my mother leaves town. Exit Fulla the cat and enter Fulla the veiled Barbie!!!! I heard of this Barbie in passing by a friend of mine. It was mentioned as an ingenious idea in the proper formation of young Moslem girls.

After doing little research, I discovered how out of touch I have been. Fulla the sexy, oops I mean the wholesome chic, had been introduced in Moslem markets for few years now. I was not aware of it, maybe because I stopped playing with Barbie long time ago and now I am busy competing with her in the battle of the sizes.

Why was I so annoyed by this piece of insignificant news? Why? Why? Why? Is it because it reeks of manipulation of a questionable trend that is on the rise? Or is it because it is reinforcing a sexist image of women while being targeted at a group that might deny the whole notion of women’s sexuality? Or is it because it confirms the ignorance of a large important segment of our society today called “young parents”? Or is it because this Fulla will never dream of having her Ken (or Saeed)?

What in the name of sanity is the message that the makers of Fulla are trying to convey? This concoction of sexism mixed with religious righteousness is a sick attempt to boost sales of a symbol that has invaded western culture and is now polluting our young kids’ minds. Aren’t parents aware that teaching their kids to follow Islam should come through the proper teachings of this great religion? Don’t they realize that using weak vehicles such superficial lessons, fear tactics, myths, Barbie dolls are nothing but a testimony of their failure to properly understand and instill the values of Islam?

I have nothing against the veil. In fact one of my favorite articles happens to be about a woman’s defense of it. What I abhor is the cheap shot aimed at the minds of young Arab girls by introducing such a stupid and manipulative idea. Besides, does this mean now that Barbie is yet another mode of pitting at a very young age one group against the other? Growing up we never thought of ourselves as Moslems and Christians. We never cared. Christians did their thing and we did ours. The tolerance we were brought up with is the very tolerance that is at stake with such dangerous notions as this Fulla doll.

I am just as appalled by "Fulla" the pseudo-Barbie as much as I was when I watched an Arabized version of an Oreo Cookie commercial (in Arabic Gulf accent). I appreciated and found cute the debate on what is the best way to eat an Oreo cookie when it was directed at the proper audience at the place where it originated: USA. However, when we start seeing the Barbiazation and the Oreozation of our day-to-day culture, I think it is time we stop and think for a second, where the hell have we gone wrong?

More important though is where the hell are we going?

The Rules

I am not talking here about the rules mentioned in the famous book "the rules" on time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr. Right; I am actually referring to an article on time-detested Americo-centric remarks for capturing the hearts of Mr. Wrongs as far as the Arab World is concerned.

Thomas Friedman, the journalist with the dubious agenda has finally figured out “Mideast Rules to Live by”. In an op-ed piece in the New York Times Friedman, whose early professional training included an internship at the CIA, is finally uncovering to us, Arabs, these rules.

For anyone who has ever doubted the objectivity of Mr. Friedman, this piece should be enough to shed light on the deep seeded contempt that he holds for the Arabs. Constructive criticism is always welcome. However, when ridiculing a whole nation that is suffering on daily basis thanks to the meddling of outsiders (Friedman's fellow citizens, be it Americans or Israelis) in its own affairs with the objective of stripping it of its wealth is summarized into non-sensical rules, the issue becomes worthy of rebutting.

Some of the rules as mentioned (comments in Italic):

Rule 1: What people tell you in private in the Middle East is irrelevant. All that matters is what they will defend in public in their own language. Anything said to you in English, in private, doesn’t count. Maybe Mr. Friedman should not have been addressed nor entertained in private to start with.

Rule 2: Any reporter or U.S. Army officer wanting to serve in Iraq should have to take a test, consisting of one question: “Do you think the shortest distance between two points is a straight line?” If you answer yes, you can’t go to Iraq. I love the doublespeak in the use of word “serve”. Well let’s make a long story short, whether it is serving or spying or stealing or hostile taking-over, or holding a whole nation hostage based on bogus pretexts, or a straight versus crooked line is irrelevant. The relevant issue here is that these “services” rendered by the Americans are no longer required nor welcomed.

Rule 3: If you can’t explain something to Middle Easterners with a conspiracy theory, then don’t try to explain it at all — they won’t believe it. I wonder what Mr. Friedman means by “you”. Sensing the narcissism and arrogance reeking from his piece, he is probably referring to himself. As for the reference to conspiracy, maybe Mr. Friedman should check with April Gillespie on why these simplistic people are thinking along a “conspiracy” line.

Rule 4: In the Middle East, never take a concession, except out of the mouth of the person doing the conceding. If I had a dollar for every time someone agreed to recognize Israel on behalf of Yasir Arafat, I could paper my walls. A much appreciated Freudian slip. Now Mr. Friedman is talking like the true advocate of Israel that he is. I suggest he starts collecting a dollar for every innocent Palestinian killed, injured, tortured, or robbed of his basic rights by the Israelis. This would not only provide him with enough dollars to cover his wall, but would instead make him a very rich man.

Rule 5: Never lead your story out of Lebanon, Gaza or Iraq with a cease-fire; it will always be over before the next morning’s paper. An objective journalist seeking the truth would not worry about the cease-fire as much as the reasons behind why this fire erupted in the first place. The rest is elementary my dear Watson.

Rule 6: In the Middle East, the extremists go all the way, and the moderates tend to just go away. Maybe Mr. Friedman should remember this next time he is wined and dined visiting the “Middle East”.

Rule 8: Civil wars in the Arab world are rarely about ideas — like liberalism vs. communism. They are about which tribe gets to rule. So, yes, Iraq is having a civil war as we once did. But there is no Abe Lincoln in this war. It’s the South vs. the South. Mr. Friedman, why not look at North Vs. South and consider the ideas fought there. It is probably about the "deep intellectual ideas" of oil versus no oil.

Rule 14: The Lebanese historian Kamal Salibi had it right: “Great powers should never get involved in the politics of small tribes.” This is an out of context quote coming from a conniving journalist. How about we add except if these small tribes happen to be sitting on fields of oil.

Thomas Friedman would do us, Arabs, all a favor if he would shove his rules where the sun doesn't shine. And those so-called "inner-circlites" spread all over the Arab world would do us all a favor by seeing Mr. Friedman for what he really is and by stopping to kiss ass of such bigots.

While I am at it, one last favor that Mr. Friedman could do us is to stop enriching us with his views on the Arab World. In this case, I can sincerely assure you that it would be good riddens of bad rubbish!

Tribute To A Dear Teacher: Hanna Batatu

Hanna Batatu (1926 - 2000) exemplified the essence of what it is to be a good teacher and a fine human being. He was an excellent "murabbi". In Batatu's case the Arabic word is absolutely correct in showing teaching as a rearing mission. He was a role model in every sense of the word. Batatu was decent, diligent, smart, dignified, passionate, a perfectionist, and a true academician. During college years when all sorts of rushes were at their peak, Batatu always urged us, his students, to systematically and consistently be calm while seriously considering the root causes of any problem rather than focus on the symptoms. Acquiring the skill of critical thinking in looking at things in terms of causes, effects, and symptoms was such a great discovery. A discovery that must come in handy today when we are bombarded with solutions that superficially treat the symptoms without serious consideration of the real causes. As far as I am personally concerned, Batatu was a great mentor, even though I never thought of him as such at the time. I won't talk of his academic work because he is greater than having one of his pupils praise him for it. His academic work speaks loudly for itself. Today the whole world swears by the great research he left us.

Hanna Batatu was a brave man, a man of rock-solid principles. He spoke the truth even when it ran contrary to his own interest and livelihood. At the time of the Iraqi Invasion of Kuwait, Batatu expressed his views that were based on history and on an objective reading of it. This cost him the Kuwaiti chair at Georgetown University. The very chair that was behind his bread and butter at the time. I do not know much about the details of this incident. It was shrouded with secrecy. Nobody ever talked about it. However, we all knew of and respected him for it.

For those who would like to catch a glimpse of the man I am talking about, may I suggest looking up the greatest work that has ever been written on Modern Iraq: “The Old Social Classes and the Revolutionary Movements of Iraq”.

Professor Batatu, may your soul rest in peace!

Cherchez la branch!

"A woman is like an olive tree, when its branches catch woodworm, it has to be chopped off so that the society stays clean and pure". Quote by a prominent politician.

In an article entitled "The Secret Lives of Just About Everybody" a sociologist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology notes that: "It used to be you'd go away for the summer and be someone else, go away to camp and be someone else, or maybe to Europe and be someone else" in a spirit of healthy experimentation.

I wonder how many olive trees are now eligible for chopping thanks to our compatriots' healthy experimentation. As for the sate of our compatriots' branches, I wonder if they could share with us (olive trees) the secret for keeping them worm-free.

Realpolitik: that's amore!

An article announcing the recent Israeli vice prime minister Shimon Peres visit to Qatar ended by highlighting that: “Qatar and several other Arab states ended an economic ban on Israel after it signed interim peace accords with the Palestinians in 1993, but relations worsened after a Palestinian uprising broke out in 2000”.

What changed between year 2000 and today? Last time I checked, some of the findings were:

1. The oppression of the Palestinians by the Israelis is still ongoing.
2. The illegal occupation of Palestinian land is still ongoing.
3. The Intifada has evolved into a pretext for Israel to apply systematic state terrorism and blatant violations of international law.
4. 869 Palestinian children have been killed by Israelis. An average of 12 children per month.
5. 3,272 Palestinian civilians have been killed. An average of 45 civilians killed per month.
6. 248 targeted people have been assassinated.
7. 198 bystanders have been killed in the course of an assassination.
8. 29,000 Palestinians have been injured. An average of 73 injuries per month.
9. An apartheid wall extending in some places up to 20 km inside Palestinian territory with a projected length of 790 km despite a border with Israel of less than 200km is being erected. A clear attempt by Israel to confiscate Palestinian land, facilitate further expansion of illegal settlements, and unilaterally redraw geopolitical borders while encouraging an exodus of Palestinians by denying them the ability to earn a living from their land, reach their schools or work places, access adequate water resources and access essential health care facilities.

My common sense tells me that not much has happened to call for the improvement of the relations between Qatar and Israel if (and here "IF" is the operative word) the worsening happened on the account of solidarity with the Palestinians.

Wishy washy attempts to stand by the Palestinians are offensive, hypocritical, insensitive, and cowardly. I would much rather read headlines such as the one shown in September 2005 whereby "the Qatari foreign minister openly stated that his country may establish official relations with Jerusalem before the establishment of a Palestinian state", than have to put up with dismissing the obvious and having to continuously decipher the intrigue of this scrupulous love affair.

Memoirs of a Dheisha

Palestine 1948
Memoirs of a Dheisha
31,010,400 minutes (and the clock is ticking)
Rated R

A sweeping tragedy set in the mysterious world of Palestinian ghetto. Based on the internationally abandoned true epic of Dheisha camp that was established in 1948 as temporary housing for 3,000 displaced people, most of whom were forced from their homes near West Jerusalem in 1948. Today the camp still exists except that it houses 12,000 people, 62% of whom are children.

Ya Beirut

What is happening in Beirut is shameful. I am not talking of politics because I honestly do not understand it. What I understand is the series of visits I had starting the summer of 2004 until my recent visit there few days ago.

In the summer of 2004 I visited Beirut in order to go to Beiteddine festival to attend “Hokom al Rou’yane” (Reign of the Shepherds). The play was about a despotic king who refuses to submit to the will of the people. The elegance with which the event was organized was impeccable. “Hokom al Rou’yane” was an ironic foreshadowing to what was to transpire during the following few months.

At that summer of 2004 Beirut should have adorned an evil eye because everyone was envious. Why do the Lebanese do what they do so well and how do they do it? That was an enigma to me and I bet to all the visitors who were filling the streets, the hotels, the nightclubs, the restaurants, and every quaint corner of that magnificent city. The excitement was in the air. The Lebanese were happy to see their darling city back and the visitors felt privileged to be hosted by such beautiful people.

Few visits followed and the awe was always there until that ugly day in February of 2005. One of the very few role models that all the Arabs or maybe mankind could claim fell victim to the most brutal fate. Until that time politics in Lebanon was dismissed as a matter of passing headlines here and there. We never worried that our newfound refuge would deteriorate at the speed it did. The events that followed were similar to watching a loved one suffer from a sudden terminal disease. I watched helplessly, while my heart was filled with sadness and extreme fear of loss.

Don’t the Lebanese see what is happening to their country? Is it really a matter of a despotic ruler not following the will of its people? Or is a matter of despotic powers wanting this child to succumb to their will? Is the conflict in Lebanon today a dialectical fight between good and evil? Or is it a fight over dialects?

If it is a matter of dialectics, then the synthesis of good and evil will only result in more evil. And if it is a matter of dialects, isn’t it time we remember that we all speak the same language?

Aspects of folly

I still remember my surprise when I started working in Jordan after having worked abroad for quite some time. The first aspect that got to me was the “sidi” and “sitti” culture. I had come from a corporate culture that goes by first names. I must admit that during my days overseas I often wished I could call my superiors by “Mr” or “Ms”, simply to show deference and respect. Eventually I got over it.

It took me a while to get used to seeing people being glorified by the “sidi” and “sitti” titles. What really bugged me was that those who were (tacitly) basking in being addressed with such a glorious title, neither earned nor possessed it. They just assumed it.

This brings me to the other aspects of working, those of work ethic and the level of professionalism prevailing in both the public and the private sectors alike. As Ghawwar said many want to be and genuinely believe that they are “mukhtaar” (mayor). But very few are willing to work hard and go through the discipline required for it. My observation over the past few years is that unfortunately many of the young (and not the so young) assume a sense of entitlement that is stifling and extremely dangerous to personal and eventually collective growth. There is very little sense of ownership of one’s work, and delivering work of mediocre quality is just OK.

I recently read an article on “What it takes to be great”. A paragraph in that article stuck in my head. It did so because as far as having the proper initiative at work, we still have a long way to go. The paragraph reads:

“….it's all about how you do what you're already doing - you create the practice in your work, which requires a few critical changes. The first is going at any task with a new goal: Instead of merely trying to get it done, you aim to get better at it.
Report writing involves finding information, analyzing it and presenting it - each an improvable skill. Chairing a board meeting requires understanding the company's strategy in the deepest way, forming a coherent view of coming market changes and setting a tone for the discussion. Anything that anyone does at work, from the most basic task to the most exalted, is an improvable skill.”

Granted that excelling at work is predominantly an individual initiative. However, it is also a matter of culture. Corporate culture. A culture that treats its employees with respect, and that delivers the vehicles necessary for career growth and professional development. Investing in one’s employees is not an option but a must. It nurtures hope. Hope is by far the engine for success. Lack of it could be the culprit that is keeping us away from seeking greatness.

As long as we qualify to fit in one of these three attitudes highlighted by Barbara Tuchman, our likelihood of getting ahead is highly unlikely: “Three outstanding attitudes – obliviousness to the growing disaffection of constituents, primacy of self-aggrandizement, [and the] illusion of invulnerable status – are persistent aspects of folly”

Shikata ga nai

Jenin is on my mind today. It has been on my mind for a while. I have been hoarding the idea of it for a very long while. I have been resisting thinking of it for years. It has been resting safely in my sub-conscience. I was comforted by the fact that it was there, but more so by having the thought of it pushed away. Today, uninvited and for an unknown obvious reason it forced itself out.

No one talks of Jenin or of those Tanks of April 2002 anymore. As if the massacre is forgotten. Or is the thought of it resting safely in the sub-conscience of so many who, like me, are feeling comforted by the fact that it is there, but more so by the fact that no one is talking about it?

I wonder do you feel the way I do? Do you ever wonder why no one did anything even though the whole world knew that Jenin was next while mass graves were being dug elsewhere in Palestine? Do you feel so overwhelmed by what is going on that it is difficult to prioritize your grief? Do you feel so confused that you no longer know the difference between mixed up and mixed emotions? Do you feel furious while being totally incapable of fairly distributing your anger among the many injustices around? Do you feel absolutely helpless that you hate hearing yourself talking about it? Do you feel like a hypocrite for showing compassion? Do you feel like a bankrupt mute who believes in putting its money where its mouth is?

The overall sense of resignation is suffocating. The air of defeatism has permeated through me that I feel it in my bones these days.

The cure, I have decided, will be by regaining consciousness and conscience. This cure is the easy part. The difficulty lies in where to start. I will do so by starting with Deir Yassin. Or maybe with Tall Alzaatar, or maybe with Sabra and Shatilla, or maybe with Qana, or maybe with siege of the Nativity Church, or maybe with the loss of beautiful Jerusalem! I think I better start with the most important massacre, that of my conscience. I do not claim innocence. My one and only defense is that it fell victim to the greatest massacre of all, that of the Arab conscience.

Let us at least remember lest we forget!

The Lady of Our House

I must admit that I am jealous of Condolezza Rice. Not because she has an army of staff at her beck and call. Not because she has the ear of the most powerful man on earth. Not because she is a great pianist. Not because she knows what make up to use. Not because I admire her accomplishments even though I am not fond of her. Not because she lies with a straight face. Not because she is fit. Not because she doesn’t smoke. Not because she is fluent in Russian. Not because she never looks sleepy. Not because of her slick suits. Not because she travels first class…well not even because she has a private jumbo jet at her service. But because she has managed to do what scores of Arab women over decades have failed to (no disrespect to Arab women at all).

Just one look at any meeting or any press conference with the male puppets behind her (or next to her) every time she visits an Arab country and you would know what I mean. Maybe if Arab men realize that there are many Condolezza Rices among them, they would spare us all the scene of seeing them so humiliated and humbled by Ms. Rice. This is not to say that she is a role model. But she is definitely someone who has inadvertently highlighted the mediocrity and double standards of the leading figures of our male-dominated societies. For once we get to see them "matronized" as opposed to the many patronizing postures we have grown accustomed to.

It seems that behind every Condolezza Rice is a bunch of very confused men!

I Love Jordan!

Few hours ago I had dinner in Amman, one of the oldest cities in the world, surrounded by Moslems, Christians, Arabs, Europeans, conservatives, and liberals. Dinner finished late and I had planned to drive to the lowest point on earth, the Dead Sea. Given the late hour, everyone was telling me to be careful. Be careful not because of worry given that I am a woman driving alone at that late hour, but because all over the world driving at night seems to carry a risk with it.

On my way down, I drove across town. While doing so I received a call from a friend who spotted me at the traffic light. We exchanged a nice conversation and I continued my drive down to that breathtaking spot on earth.

On the way to the Dead Sea I was stopped by two army checkpoints stationed there to make sure that we Jordanians are safe. The soldiers could not have been more polite or pleasant. I finally reached my destination, which was one of the most beautiful hotels that one could experience. There I met three of my girlfriends. Two are married and one is single. They all had decided to spend an all girls day off at the Dead Sea.

I hung out with them until 3:00 am and then it was time to leave. I drove back alone to my place next to the Dead Sea at the Jordan valley, one of the most historically rich and agriculturally fertile and diversified areas in the world. The road was dark and empty, but not for one second did I feel anxious, worried or scared.

This made me realize why I love Jordan. In a matter of few hours, I got to experience how lucky we are to feel safe and free here in Jordan. In matter of few hours I got to experience the cosmopolitan side that one finds in a big city. In a matter of few hours I got to experience the familiar side that one finds in a small town. In a matter of few hours I got to experience the loving side of Jordan. In a matter of less than one hour I got to experience temperature change of 10 degrees. In a matterof less than one hour I managed to be at 700 meters above sea level, to being at sea level, and then finally reaching to the lowest point on earth (400 meters below sea level).

My point is that here in Jordan we find tolerance, diversity, respect, security, history, uniqueness, freedom, and lots of love.

Today I realized how easy it is at times to to take fundamental things for granted and how eay it is to forget what a beautiful place our country is. And by the way I am a Palestinian. But I never thought that I needed to make that distinction. In fact I am now sitting 10 minutes away from Palestine. Does this make the people of this area so alien and so different from those sitting 10 minutes away from here that we have to make a point of it? I think not!

A Bridge and a New Gym

January 10, 2007

My one and only resolution for 2007 was to write in this journal at least one observation a day starting January 1st. The lack of resolutions is not because I have nothing to be resolved about. In fact this lack was due to the fact that I had too many things to resolve that I did not know where to start. Few minutes ago, just like its many previous ill-fated sisters, this lonely resolution looked like it was about to go down the drain before it even started. I have already skipped 10 days. With this in mind, I decided to keep it for as long as I can. So here I go. Let’s see how long it lasts.

Today’s observation is about a conversation at a dinner thrown by a very nice couple that I hardly know. I was glad I got the warm welcome I did (maybe because I was not invited :-)?). One recurring topic of conversation was how the talk in Amman these days is about the "new bridge" and the "new gym in town". This got me seriously thinking. The Amman I live in is talking about shortage of gas cylinders, skyrocketing fruit and vegetable prices; skyrocketing prices PERIOD, another anticipated hike in fuel prices, and the now almost forgotten hanging of Saddam Hussein. Small talk is refreshing at times. But I must admit that the feeling of guilt over the many miseries brewing around made me feel awkward to even take part in that talk. I know some might say that I need to chill...but it is too cold outside and I can’t help but think of how lucky I am to be warm while many people have to suffer the cold. And these are not strangers sitting in some remote areas where no one sees them. These are not invisible people even though some would like them to be. These are people we see, we probably work with, we buy stuff from, we greet on the street, and maybe ones we hardly suspect that they might be struggling in silence.

Building bridges is great. But the greatest one of all is the one that helps bridge the gap between those who are fortunate and those who are not.

Are we becoming too complacent that living in our own paradise has made us blind to the hell right next door?

She calls out to the man on the street
sir, can you help me?
Its cold and Ive nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me?

He walks on, doesnt look back
He pretends he cant hear her
Starts towhistleas he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there

Oh think twice, its another day for
You and me in paradise
Oh think twice, its just another day for you,
You and me in paradise

Become the light

In 2007 -- Become the light

January 4, 2007

This is my new journal. I am hoping to use it in opening a dialogue with friends and in sharing ideas and insights on the many events, trends, and absurdities that are taking place these days.

I have chosen my first journal entry on a hopeful and a positive note. No matter how bad things might have become, it is still in our hands to make them better. To whom much is given much is obliged. The givens are many, let's make now the time to do the right thing.

I want to wish you a very happy new year and to wish you a 2007 that elevates all of us to the best that we have to offer. My wish in 2007 and the many years to come is that we become the person we look up to, that we do unto others the things we like done unto us, that we continuously feel the joy of evolving from one plain to a higher one. May all of us become the light!

“No mirror ever became iron again;
No bread ever became wheat;
No ripened grape ever became sour fruit.
Mature yourself and be secure from a change for the worse.
Become the light.”
Rumi